


haunted moonlight

by holyhoax



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, just an edgy over edited drabble of losers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-23 14:26:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18153041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holyhoax/pseuds/holyhoax
Summary: ❛     i’ve always been a sinner.     ❜     jacob’s voice is rough, throat sore from vocally waking himself.or jacob hasn't slept in days and stumbles into old familiar arms





	haunted moonlight

**Author's Note:**

> another old thing i wrote.

he’s been walking for ages ; feet carrying him far from his compound beneath the night sky. the moonlight shining down upon his shoulders makes a nice spotlight for the grief he feels over lost sleep. he’s numb to the ache behind his eyes, now, has been for years, but he’s NEEDED now. joe and john need him to be at his strongest. he needs rest, but how does he achieve such a thing when he’s surrounded by so much hurt.

HOLY HANDS HAVE MADE HIM A SINNER , no — ❛ i’ve always been a sinner. ❜ jacob’s voice is rough, throat sore from vocally waking himself. the words are snatched up by the trees, wind forcing them through the thick brush until he’s alone again. 

he’s walking along the empty street, no weapon, only his radio, trapped in thought. when he looks to his right and is faced with the woods, he’s right back in his dream : HE’S RUNNING, DRENCHED IN BLOOD HE CAUSED, HIS SIBLING’S VOICES ECHOING ALL AROUND HIM — ❛ GOD WON’T SAVE YOU. ❜ he could feel miller inside him, clawing at his stomach for a way out. 

❛ GOOD GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE. ❜

he tells himself he doesn’t care. he tells himself it doesn’t bother him. he tells himself he’s here for God.

he knows, though, he’s only there to be a sacrifice. joe’s never said it in so many words, but jacob’s been prepared for his end since the beginning ; EAGER EVEN. he is to cull the weak for his brother and then lay down and die, like the dog he sees himself to be.

he should head back. everything inside himself is telling him to. he’s exposed, unarmed, and… weak — HE’S WEAK. but the breeze against his skin lulls him in a way his bed never could. 

just one more minute then ; one more minute till the ache starts to wither.

god decides he doesn't deserve that minute, however, as he hears leaves crunch just out of reach.

jacob spins and comes face to face with eli palmer : THE SAVIOR.

time seems suspended as their eyes meet, an entire lifetime relived in the unspoken memories on their tongues. jacob almost doesn't want either of them to speak, to DESTROY what little peace he's felt in weeks. eli has always had that effect on him.

❛ come on, then, soldier — can't leave you wanderin' out here alone. ❜

and jacob didn't see that coming. did he black out and imagine all the hurt and pain he has caused eli? no, he knows he didn't. he sees the things he's done every time he BLINKS. he doesn't regret doing those things... does he?

the words still refuse to come, no response anywhere close to what he feels he should say: YOU'RE A SINNER, YOU MUST DIE, i'm sorry. the way the moonlight bounces off the emotion shining in eli's eyes, though, makes jacob think he doesn't need to say a thing. 

so, he doesn't.

instead, he forgets all the questions and the answers and the fear and the pain. he lets it all wash away as soon as eli's fingers lace with his own. maybe forgiveness isn't as out of reach as he thought.

**Author's Note:**

> have suggestions for me to write?
> 
> find me on tumblr at westernrot & holytwink


End file.
